best year yet : my lottie

My Charlotte is six months old today.

I honestly cannot describe to you how much joy it is to have this girl in our family.

She is such a good baby.  She is good at all the things that babies are supposed to be good at.  She sleeps well at night.  She loves to nurse.  She rarely fusses.  She loves baths.  She is entertained by her toys.  

She adores her bother, and it makes him feel so good about himself.  Her face lights up and she kicks her legs with excitement when she sees him every single morning.  She can giggle at his silly little tricks all day long.  She even laughs at him when he throws fits, which will often distract him enough to stop his yelling and screaming.  Their personalities could not be better matched.  

She also adores her daddy.  Sometimes she will literally just stare at him with a big, goofy, open mouth grin on her face.  He might not even be looking at her, but she will just gaze at him and smile.

Oh, her smile.  She gives smiles freely and they are just about the sweetest thing you've ever seen.  The happier she is, the wider she opens her mouth.  Her face absolutely beams when she smiles at you.

Her soul is a happy soul.  When Charlotte was just a few weeks old, I told my mom that I was afraid that my calm, peaceful girl was going to flip a switch and become a fussy baby (like her brother had been...).  

"Nope," my mother said.  "This is just her personality."

Moms are always right.  Lottie has been a calm, happy, peaceful baby since the moment she was born.  She is just the perfect little baby, and I don't think it would be possible for me to love her any more than I do.

best year yet : like a boss

I had not been back from maternity leave for more than an hour when I was asked to head up the newly expanded lighting department.  And so I am the head designer of a team of 4.

I'm not sure yet if being a manager is part of this being the best year yet or not.  I sometimes am not the most patient person when it comes to dealing with others' complaints, which I often receive being in this position.  But it is a great opportunity for me.  I'm trying to remember that my main job is to do whatever I can to help the team succeed.  And that it's not my job to get bogged down in the drama that sometimes happens.  

Here's to hoping that being 31 will make me all the wiser in this department.

best year yet : my mythic ancestor

One of my favorite books is My Name Is Asher Lev, by Chaim Potok. It's the story of a young Jewish boy who has a talent for art, despite growing up in a community that tries to suppress his creative expressions.  I love this book for many reasons, but those reasons could fill up many blog posts.  One idea from the book that has stuck with me throughout the years since I first read it is the mythic ancestor. When Asher is a boy, he is told the story of his great-great-great grandfather. This man did great things. He amassed wealth and spread the word of God, as a good Jewish man should. Asher's ancestor becomes a symbol to him of everything that he should be doing and everything that is expected of him. 

I have a mythic ancestor. She is a mormon pioneer. She lived in a small town in rural Utah or Idaho. She bore a dozen children, all of which were healthy and strong.  She played the organ each Sunday in church for 50 years.  She loved to read, even when the only material available was a farming pamphlet published by the government.  Her laugh was infectious and her smile was kind and understanding.  She created a home where her children felt safe, protected, loved and well fed.  She kept her handouts from Relief Society and they stayed on her fridge for years.  She did her visiting teaching every month.  Her cousin was a prophet.  She pulled handcarts across the American West.

She was strong and steadfast.  Her faith was firm and powerful.

I had a lot of time to think of my mythic ancestor this year.  For days, I drove through the tiny towns where my mythic ancestor spent her life.  In Utah and Idaho, I saw the barren land on which she passed her days.  I saw the open blue skies and the pure white clouds.  I pictured her life.  

What a different world she lived in.  

I'm at a loss as to how to translate her into my own world.

It is naive of me to think that her life was less complicated than mine.  But I can't help wishing that my life didn't constantly feel like uncharted territory.  If only I could look at the past and see my way forward.  The situations in our lives seem so different.  I try to imagine what she might say if I went to her and asked, "How do you think I'm doing?  Am I living my life in a way that is making all your sacrifices worth it?"  My mythic ancestor is very loving and kind, so she would probably tell me that I'm doing a fine job.  

But I look at her and I think that I could be doing better.

I'm still thinking about how to be more like her, how to be better.  I will probably think about it for the next 30 years.

best year yet : dear friends

One of the best things about being 30 is that I've had all this time to meet some pretty amazing people.

This past year, I got to spend time with many of my dearest friends.  Some friends have been in my life for decades, some for years, some for months.  

I am so grateful for these dear women.  They have taught me some of the most important lessons in my life.  They make me feel happier and stronger.  They make my soul feel full.  They are a part of my family.  They give me an anchor.

These images have captured a few of my memories with my friends over this past year.  

As usual, I think I should have taken more pictures.

If you're reading this post, and don't see a picture of yourself, don't be surprised if the next time I see you I say something like, "Hey, we need to have more pictures of the two of us!"

best year yet : baby kisses

One of the best things about being 30 is that I have this adorable baby girl who loves to give me kisses.  She grabs my face and pulls it to her face.  She opens her mouth as wide as it will go and then proceeds to drool and slobber all over me.  

She's even learned the word 'kiss'.  All I have to do is say "Can I have a kiss?" and she is all over it.

And it is pretty much my favorite thing ever.

What a lucky mom I am.

best year yet : chopped

When Charlotte was four months old, my hair started falling out.  This was decidedly not a part of this being the best year yet.  

So I decided to cut off about six inches.

And, (shocker), I like it.  And (even bigger shocker), so does Matthew.

I'm really not sure what sort of face I'm making in this picture.  Just go with it, right?.

best year yet : purging

I've already mentioned this, but I lost a lot of weight this year.  

One thing that I had heard is that after you lose a lot of weight, you need to get rid of your fat clothes.  If you keep them around, you're telling yourself that it's okay to be that size again.

Well, that would not be okay with me.

Because of that, I have been on a major purging kick.  I'm mildly obsessed with getting rid of stuff.  It feels so wonderful.

I am too old to keep things around unless they are useful or I love them.  Things sap energy because they need to be taken care of.  They need to be cleaned or dusted or washed or organized.  I want to spend as little time on things as I can.  

I would much rather spend my time on people.  Myself included.

(P.S.  The best part of getting rid of too-big clothes is buying new ones!)

best year yet : cousins

When I went to Utah, I was lucky enough to get to see several of my dear cousins.  It was heaven.

I have some pretty great cousins.  Many of them feel like siblings to me.  I hadn't seen most of them in years, and being together again was like coming home.

I was not on top of things enough to get pictures with all my cousins that I was blessed enough to see, but I did snap a few.

Oh, how I love these people.

best year yet : saying no to the party

Because I am generally exhausted these days, I really didn't want to throw Henry a 'friend' birthday party this year.  So, I used my most enthusiastic tone of voice and convinced him that going to a movie with some of his friends would be way more fun.

Today, we took three of his friends to go see Planes and then to McDonald's for ice cream cones.  It was a genius move, if I do say so myself.  The boys had a blast.

With Pinterest as my witness, I promise to rededicate myself to the cause of throwing awesome birthday parties for my kids.  

Next year.

best year yet : september birthdays

We have a lot of September birthdays in the Gunnell family.  Five, to be exact.  So, last Sunday, on my mom's actual birthday, we had a September birthday party.

It included yummy Cafe Rio pork salad, video chats and phone calls with those who weren't there, cherry chip cake, and a really funny birthday card about how old I am.  Heh.  (Not that funny.)

Okay, pretty funny.

best year yet : matthew's broken ankle

Okay, just hear me out on this one. 

How could poor Marthew's broken ankle help make 30 the best year of my life?  

It was such an intense time for me.  I had a difficult pregnancy, but felt like I had made peace with it.  I was looking forward to having this baby and getting on with my recovery.  When Matt broke his ankle, I saw all of that peace in my heart fly out the window.  I had no idea how I was going to take care of him, a four-year-old and a newborn.  Not to mention help myself recover.  I could feel the pressure.  The universe was asking me a very important question.  Could I make it through this with my faith and my joy in tact?  

Matt had two surgeries and I delivered a baby all within the span of one month.  I had to do almost everything for my family.  Matthew couldn't put any weight on his leg.  He couldn't carry the baby, except when sitting or laying down.  Henry was still in preschool, to which I had to drive him back and forth.  I had to make sure everyone else got something to eat (because no one else could really get it for themselves), and then I had to nurse the baby.  I had to keep things at least sanitary; I won't fool anyone by claiming that it was clean around here.  I had to take out the trash and recycling by myself every week.  Oh man, that last one was the worst for me for some reason.

I don't know if I passed or failed the test, but I did learn a few things.  All that hard, physical work was so good for me.  I tapped into strength and patience that I never knew was inside of me.  And I didn't end up having to do everything on my own.  We were strengthened and supported by the friends and family around us, who were undoubtedly sent by a loving Heavenly Father.  

During this time, my dad told me about a devotional talk that included a phrase that became my mantra "Not shrinking is more important than surviving".  I really tried, not just to get through each day, but to do it with patience and joy in my heart.  I am grateful for the chance I had to prove myself and grateful for the way it changed and strengthened my faith.  

best year yet : my sister

My sister came to stay with us for a week when Lottie was a month old. What an angel.  

She totally saved us.  

Oh, the loads and loads of laundry and the stacks and stacks of dishes that she did for us!  She cooked and cleaned like nobody's business.  When the baby would only sleep in someone's arms, my sister would take her.  I came down with my second round of mastitis right before Charlotte's baby blessing, and thank goodness my sister was there to take care of us all!

It was heavenly to have her here.  We live on opposite sides of the country, but oh how I wish that we could live closer to each other.  She is my one sister and we are cut from the same cloth.  No matter how much time we spend apart, i'm always surprised at how much we are alike.

Thank you so much for coming, MB!

best year yet : my henry

Today my boy turns 5 years old.

One of the best things about this past year has been being this kid's mother.  We have our share of challenges, you know we do.  But on the whole, I just can't believe how wonderful he is.

He is so smart.  He reads everything he lays eyes on and we rarely have to help him with a word he can't figure out on his own.  He tested into kindergarten early with flying colors and is absolutely loving it.  His favorite app these days is one called Barefoot Atlas.  It has tons of images and facts about different countries and cultures.  Because of this app, he will randomly ask us things like, "Have you ever been to Nepal?" and "Did you know that the Caribbean islands are in the Gulf of Mexico?".  Also, because this app, he has decided that he would like to serve a mission to either Micronesia or Utah.

He loves his friends and cannot get enough of them.  Really, I think he would have every single friend of his move in with us if he could.  Whenever they come over he turns into this crazy goofball of a boy, and tears are often shed when loved ones have to leave. He has already made new friends at school, too.

We have never been very consistent about having Family Home Evening until recently, and Henry is eating it up.  It's one of his absolute favorite things.  He would have us do it every night if he had his way.  His favorite lesson was the one on controlling anger.  Matt did the object lesson where you hammer nails into a board to show how losing your temper might hurt others and do permanent damage.  I think it was Henry's favorite because he got to use the hammer.  His least favorite one was the lesson on tithing.  Guess we didn't do such a swell job talking about how much obeying that law blesses us all.

He has such a sweet heart.  He really just adores his sister.  He loves being with his dad.  Adjusting to school is kind of wearing him out, and so he was quite grumpy this evening,  But, a quick ride on dad's back made everything right again.  Henry says the sweetest things, just out of the blue.  We have these letters on display on our shelves.  The other day he said to me.  "Mommy, you have to make the J lean on the H.  Because we love each other." 

I do love him so much and am so proud of the wonderful little boy that he is.

best year yet : these two

My kids adore each other.

This year, we have transitioned from a family of three to a family of four and I don't think it could have gone better.  I can't recall any times that Henry has acted jealous or competitive.  He's only been delighted and so happy to have his sister around.  And she is always thrilled to see him.

As a mother, what more could you ask for?

best year yet : my mom

"There are few things more powerful than the prayers of a righteous mother."

~Boyd K. Packer~

After Charlotte was born, my mother took me in her arms.  Her gentle sobbing shook both of our bodies.  She cried into my neck and told me how hard she had prayed for us the night before.  She had prayed that the delivery would be easy on me.

It was so easy.

So easy that I was in denial.  I could not believe how quickly it went and how little pain I had felt.  It was the most anti-climactic ending to a very difficult pregnancy.  The serenity of Charlotte's delivery was an unexpected blessing that was beyond my comprehension.  After my mother told me of her desperate prayers, I knew it was because of her.

I am so blessed to be her daughter.

Happy 60th Birthday, Mom.

best year yet : shelves

This is kind of a silly thing.  A few months ago, we finished a few projects around the house that made me really happy.

We put shelves up in the laundry room and in the loft.

Yay!!

Maybe someday I'll finish painting the walls in the loft.

best year yet : winning

In May of this year, even though I was on maternity leave, I donned some nice clothes, put on make up, and drove down to Seattle.  In front of 200 of my peers, I was one of about 20 people to be honored with an award for excellence in lighting design.

One of the very first projects I worked on when I started at Coffman three years ago was Geiger Montessori School.  It was a very interesting project, with a great architect leading the team.  The whole school was designed around a 'building block' theme and the lighting was designed to support that.

Winning meant a lot to me.  I've been trying hard to prove myself for the last 7 years, putting in the overtime, getting as many certifications as I could and trying to learn from my mistakes.  I'm so grateful for the opportunities I've been given and the support that I have received.  My job has turned into one of the greatest blessings for my family and me.

best year yet : hawaii

Remember how we went to Hawaii this year?  Yeah, I'd say that definitely added to this being the best year yet.  

best year yet : a house and a home

This past May, I set a personal record.  We past the four year mark of living in our home.  This is the longest I've ever lived at one address.  

I love this house.  

It has new floors downstairs.  We have an amazing view out of our bedroom window.  Our children have their own rooms and each has a walk-in closet.  Our master suite is enormous.  Matthew has his own office.  This house fits our family and we are settling into it better all the time.

I also love this home.  

Growing up, I had insatiable wanderlust.  As an army brat, all I knew was traveling to new places, meeting more people, and moving boxes.  It became a mark of pride, and a passion.  I still love learning about different cultures and languages.  I majored in humanities and my list of places I wanted to go see just got longer and longer.  I am so enamored with learning all I could about different histories and cultural expressions.  I still indulge myself by bragging about all the different places that I've been. I have a pinterest board dedicated to displaying the many places to which I have traveled.  It has 88 pins!  Aren't I cool?!?  

Maybe it's because I'm 30, (old and tired), or maybe it's because I'm a mother but, being here and staying here is my new thrilling adventure.  This little corner of the world and the people who live in it have replaced my wanderlust with staylust.  I cannot wait to raise my children here.  The relationships we have with our friends and family here mean so very much to me.  What an adventure it will be to stay in one house for years and years and years.  I can't wait.

best year yet : great wolf lodge

We're enjoying an over night adventure at  a huge indoor water park and having too much fun to write any more than that.